Navigating the Carcinogenic Bubble

So I saw The Boob Whisperer earlier this week. He seems very pleased with how my foobs are shaping up and so am I.  There is still the little dog ear extra skin thingy on the right side so he wants to see me again in three weeks to reassess it, and he can fix it in a simple outpatient procedure if necessary.  He has done such a phenomenal job and I am amazed at how good they look and feel.  Yes I’m still obsessed with feeling them all the time, I can’t stop myself.  I test different spots to see if the numbness is gone too.  I wish I could feel them with someone else’s hands.

Since we are almost at the end of January I must face the fact that I am doing kind of pretty very bad with my new year’s health resolutions.  I still need to lose weight because being overweight is a risk factor for breast cancer and I have not cleaned up my diet as much as I should.  Since my cancer was estrogen receptor positive-which means that the cancer feeds off of estrogen, I take medicine to block the estrogen in my body; but there are foods that are high in estrogen, especially conventional meat and dairy.  I strive to buy organic meats (no beef or pork) and dairy but I need to be more vigilant.  I’ve actually switched to almond milk because it has no dairy or soy, but I still eat the sugary Greek yogurts.  I have avoided pre-packaged foods for the most part but not completely, and the same goes for hair care and personal products.  I bought some natural deodorant (not patchouli which smells like Raid) because there are conflicting reports about the aluminum and parabens in deodorants being linked to breast cancer.  My oncologist believes in moderation when it comes to dietary dos and don’ts, but is it enough?  I mean if I don’t make these natural/organic changes across the board 100%, is that going to cancel out the changes that I have made?  If I switched from CoffeeMate to Almond Milk but then still eat Chobani Flips, cream cheese and margarine am I taking one step forward and two steps back?  I drink diet soda at the movies and we all know what kind of crappy chemicals are in that, so if I switch to water but still eat the popcorn with the suspicious-not-really-butter-but-butter-flavored-substance is it a wash?  I also have a vent clip in my car that my friend says is toxic which I keep forgetting to remove.  I don’t know what the answer is.  I know people who feel very strongly about using natural products and eating natural and organic foods and who live their lives this way, and this is by no means an inexpensive endeavor.

Before cancer I felt like the worst thing eating poorly would do was make me fat. Now I have this manic view of everything in my life, like I’m trapped in a carcinogenic bubble. #everythingwillkillyou