Last week I mentioned thinking about my mortality and burning the cancer chart of doom (I was afraid I might accidentally burn down the house too so I actually put it in the shredder). Cancer has obviously prompted more of these types of thoughts, and I dislike getting sentimental but what I didn’t mention at the time was that something else happened recently to make me think about life and death. My dog died. My grief was so acute I couldn’t even fathom writing about it. But I realized that she taught me things and I’m a better person because of her. A few things I’ve learned from my dog over the years is that unconditional love and loyalty are never in short supply. And that something that scares or upsets you will usually not be a big deal 20 minutes later. Sometimes supporting someone means just licking their face. And if two strangers sniff each other first, they’re likely to get along better.
I want my life to matter, and I want to be remembered fondly but also with infinite humor. To do that I think I need to make my life about more than just surviving because just surviving isn’t the same as living. I wrote an entry for The Rainbow Bridge in honor of Sammy. It’s nothing prolific, just my own stream of consciousness, unedited.