A Visit to the Boob Whisperer

So I met briefly with my plastic surgeon Monday. I can’t recall everything he said but nothing’s going to happen for a few months as I’m still pretty inflamed from radiation. He wants to see me again in February. It sounds like he’s maybe going to do a flap with an implant. Maybe a DIEP or Lat Flap? What he has to do (and I’m paraphrasing, barely, as I don’t have a medical background) because I lost so much tissue with the mastectomy and the radiation roasted what was left on the cancer side, is create a new breast flap by harvesting tissue from my belly or Lattisimus Dorsi to create the breast pocket. Then he’ll stick the expanders in there. But, it’s not like getting a regular boob job where it’s like wham bam here’s your boobs ma’am. It’s a several months process. I should probably find out what the deal is and maybe even take notes next time. Apparently most doctors prefer silicone over saline with breast reconstruction because they give a better result and feel more like natural breasts. We’ll see.

WARNING- Graphic nipple discussion below.

If you want nipples, and I think most people do (unless maybe you’re someone who has wardrobe malfunctions and nip slips) you can have yet another surgery, nipple reconstruction. Skin is harvested from elsewhere on your body like your thigh or your ass and shaped into a nipple, then stitched on. After they’re all healed then they are tattood pink, and the healing from all that appears to be at least four weeks with wearing supportive dressing. Sorry but fuck that. The new fake nipples won’t even have any sensation. Yep, once the nipples God gave you are gone, so is any and all sensation. BUT! Rather than more surgery, you can get 3D nipple tattoos which is totally what I want. I saw a tv show with a lady who got them and they look awesome and real. I guess some women even get fun tattoos like hearts or stars or flowers instead of nipples, I’m probably just not that fun. During my extensive nipple research, I read that in the early days of breast reconstruction the new nipple tissue was harvested from your girly bits. Not only was that a bad idea because, OW. But also because that particular bit of tissue has hair follicles. So these poor women who had already gone through so much, were now walking around with nipple pubes. How many kinds of wrong is that?